Becoming a grandmother

Well, it's official. At 44, I'm going to be a grandma (actually I'll be 45 by the time the baby is born). 45 seems too young to be a grandmother, and yet, until recently years when women started having children later, I guess it wasn't that out of the ordinary. Maybe I just wasn't ready. So, are any of you moms out there also grandmothers? If so, was it difficult to make that transition? Any advice

Tags: aging, babies, children, grandmothers, mothers, parenting, transitions

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Permalink Reply by Susan Barton on October 14, 2009 at 9:02pm: Congrats Rebecca! I don't have any feedback because I'm not there yet; however I wish you blessings on this part of your journey.....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Diana Tyler on October 14, 2009 at 9:39pm: No grandbabies yet for me...and I've got (ahem!) "a year or two" on you.
I'll welcome the day, when it comes, although I'm in no particular hurry for it. (For the record, I think it unkind of parents who drop hints to their children that their "grandparent biological clock is ticking"...); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Woods on October 14, 2009 at 9:52pm: Susan and Diana - Thanks so much for your kind replies!

I think the hardest part, for me at least, is not really the age thing on my part (much as I may joke about it) -- it's that this transition for my stepdaughter from 'child' to 'mom' is happening sooner than we all expected. She'll be just beyond her teen years when the baby is born, but it's a HUGE transition. I think a part of this for us is a little bit of grieving that for her, this is a big move into adulthood, and not what we wanted for her. And our impulse, as parents, is to rush in and volunteer to do everything and 'fix' everything. Yet, to an extent, we know that if we really want to help, we need to sit back and let her take the lead on figuring all this out -- how she's going to make a life for herself and the baby, whether the dad will be in the picture, etc. It's a messy situation, but there's a lot of good in it, and we are hopeful.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sherri Emmons on October 14, 2009 at 10:48pm: Is Amberly going to be a mother?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Woods on October 15, 2009 at 7:45am: Yep. She is due at the end of April.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sherri Emmons on October 15, 2009 at 10:35am: I think you are right about sitting back and letting her take the lead in figuring it all out. But man, I know how hard that is. And I know there is grieving over the future you all had hoped for that's going to be different now. I think the best you can probably do is just be there and love her. And pray a lot.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Woods on October 15, 2009 at 10:47am: Thanks, Sherri. Yep, it is hard. I probably spend too much time wondering if we could have done anything to prevent this or seen it coming. But I'm getting used to the idea (and a part of me is REALLY excited to think about having a baby in the family again!); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Verity A. Jones on October 15, 2009 at 11:25am: Rebecca,

First, thanks for sharing the news with the group. I suspect you wondered about whether to do that or not. I think it takes some courage to share something you're feeling ... many different things ... about.

Second, I am so impressed how you and your husband are handling it--recognizing the grief and the fear for your daughter, knowing you must let her make her way on her own, even as you stand ready to help, and feeling the joy of a little new life soon to arrive.

I think the rest of us are going to be asking you for help and insight when we become grandparents.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Diana Tyler on October 19, 2009 at 6:46pm: Fortunately/unfortunately, your family is not alone in welcoming an "early entry" baby. Definitely a two-sided coin.

Many mothers-to-be (of all ages) have learned the news of their pregnancy with mixed emotions. But God's wisdom is to give humans nine months to mentally adjust. And how that fear and trepidation grows into anticipation and excessive depths of joy when that delivery day finally comes!

You will all do fine.

And I know you'll be supportive and serve as a good role model as much as possible. Your stepdaughter will need your wisdom and your strength...even when she doesn't yet realize it. She is blessed to have good, caring people in her corner.

May all of you--together--love well.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Woods on October 21, 2009 at 9:13am: Thanks, everyone, for all your encouragement here. I appreciate the wisdom, support, and prayers of this group. Even though this is an unexpected turn of events for us, our family is blessed to have resources and good relationships that some don't have. And with Christmas approaching, it's going to be fun to do some shopping for the mom-to-be and the baby.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sherri Emmons on October 26, 2009 at 9:50pm: Rebecca, I am here to talk any time you want.

And ... I will go baby clothes shopping any time you want.; ▶ Reply to This